Secrets
by giftofamber
Summary: Doris comes out to Ashlee, and tries to discover Blake's secret about Natalia. Instead, Doris & Blake find out some secrets about each other.
1. Chapter 1

Fic: Secrets Part 1

Pairing: Blis (Blake and Doris)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or anything. Guiding Light does.

"I just don't understand how a mother could keep something that big from her own child," Ashlee Wolfe looked directly at her mother. What was it going to take to get her mother to open up to her? An anvil? She wasn't sure what her mother was hiding from her, but she knew it was something, and something big for that matter. The last few months especially, her mother had been shorter with her than usual and obviously wanted to tell her *something*, but didn't know how. The last time her mother had behaved like this, Ashlee was a little girl and readily accepted that 'adult' matters didn't concern her, but now, things were different. She was older and could handle whatever her mother could throw at her. She tried a different tack, "Mom, you do know that you could tell me anything, right? Even if….oh I don't know…you killed Edmund? You could trust me."

"Ashlee, sit down," Doris sighed. When her daughter complied, she continued, "some things just aren't easy to talk about with your children. You want your kids to think you are perfect…"

Ashlee giggled, "Mom, I know you're not perfect."

"Ashlee, I'm trying to have an emotional moment here, and this isn't easy for me," Doris reprimanded.

"Sorry, mom, I'm listening."

"I've been trying to tell you something for a while, and I just didn't know how, and I kept hoping for the perfect moment, but the moment never came, and…" Doris paused because her heart was beating inordinately fast, and she was sure she'd give herself a heart attack. If Saint Natalia had the courage to tell her child, then, maybe…

"Mom, what is it?"

"I'm gay," Doris forced the words off of her lips before she could second guess herself.

Ashlee's face first turned pale, but then she appeared to be deep in thought. "I guess…that makes sense. I don't have a father, and you don't really date, and you always liked softball…"

"Honey, you know I love you?" Doris's voice suddenly became childlike. She didn't know if she could handle her daughter's rejection.

"Is Olivia your girlfriend?"

"What? No, she's just a friend. Didn't Rafe tell you Olivia is dating his mother?" Doris was confused. Wasn't that what had started this whole mess?

Ashlee's head was spinning. Her mother was a lesbian; Olivia Spencer was a lesbian. Natalia was a lesbian. If her mother wasn't dating Olivia, who was she dating? Were there any other single women in Springfield at the moment? "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No, honey, you'd be the first person to find out if I was. It's kind of hard to date when you're as deep in the closet as I am," Doris lamented. "But I did choose a public life."

For a moment, Ashlee forgot her frustration at having been kept in the dark for so many years and felt sorry for her mother. She was clearly miserable by herself. As much as she often was frustrated with her mother, she did deserve to be happy. She wasn't a bad person; a little short-tempered maybe, but she'd always been there when Ashlee needed her. She gave her mom a hug, "I love you."

"I love you too," Doris felt closer to her daughter than she ever had. A huge weight had been lifted from her chest. Ashlee still loved her. Olivia was right; her daughter knew the truth and the world didn't end. Her eyes welled up with uncharacteristic tears.

Ashlee spoke with the determination of a Wolfe, "We're going to find you a girlfriend. I want you to be happy."

"That's really not necessary, but I appreciate that you are ok with this. You are ok with this?" Doris searched her daughter's eyes for the answer.

"Yes, I'm ok with this, and yes, I'm still going to help you find a girlfriend," Ashlee's eyes twinkled. Playing matchmaker would be fun. "Don't worry; I'll keep your secret, but I can ask questions you can't without anyone suspecting why I'm asking them. Admit it: you need me."

"Why do I get the feeling you won't take no for an answer?"

Ashlee smiled with a twinkle in her eyes, "Because I'm your daughter?"

Ashlee sat at the counter at lunchtime at Company, stirring her coffee. She was supposed to meet Rafe, but he was late as usual. She still hadn't come up with anyone good for her mother to date. All the single women were either too old or way too young or…

"Can I take your order?" Blake looked at Ashlee pointedly. This was rush hour at Company, and she hated when people came in and didn't bother to get anything to eat when she could be getting tips.

Suddenly, Ashlee grinned widely, "Blake! Of course!" Sure, Blake had previously been with men, but so had Olivia Spencer, and somehow, the idea of her mother and Blake just fit. They had so much in common. They'd both been mayor. They were both strong women with ambitions. Even though Blake kept changing her ambitions every few seconds…

"Ok, now you're scaring me. Why are you so happy to see me?" Blake was perplexed. She didn't think that she and Ashlee were on really good terms. Neutral ones maybe, but certainly not good terms.

Ashlee smiled, "I was supposed to bring my mother lunch, but I just got called into work. Would you bring it to her? I'll pay extra."

"Can it wait until after the rush?"

Ashlee nodded, "Yeah, she wasn't expecting me for an hour anyway."

Blake considered for a moment. It was an odd request, but who turned down money in this economy? Especially if she could do it during the slow part of the day, she'd made her decision, "Sure."

"Great. She'll have a Buzz burger with fries and a coffee," Ashlee handed Blake some cash and hugged her, "Thank you so much!"

Blake stared after her. Who was that and what had she done with Ashlee Wolfe? She didn't give it another thought until after rush hour. She was too busy. After an hour, the restaurant grew relatively quiet, and she called over to Buzz, "I'll be back in a half hour. Have to make a delivery."

"A delivery? Since when do we deliver?"

"Since today. See you soon," Blake waved and walked out the door with the food for Doris before Buzz could respond. She needed a break anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Doris heard footsteps outside her office during her 'alone time' again. She's told Olivia a million times not to interrupt her then, but for once, she was actually in a good mood despite a massive pile of paperwork she had to deal with after spending the morning officiating at Jeffrey's funeral. She was so happy she wasn't even listening to her headphones. She couldn't wait to tell Olivia about her talk with Ashlee, but she was a little pre-occupied at the moment, staring at the mound of paperwork. "Olivia, you and I are going to go out and celebrate tonight; Meet me at 6 at Towers…." Doris finally looked up and noticed that Olivia wasn't standing in front of her, "Blake?"

"Hi, Doris. You're celebrating something?" Blake was bemused and perplexed. The entire town had just gone to a funeral after all. Blake had wanted to go but someone had to mind the restaurant.

"Never mind that. What are you doing here?" Doris became suddenly defensive.

Blake smiled politely, "Your daughter wanted to make sure you ate today." Blake handed Doris the bag lunch, and turned to leave.

"Just where do you think you're going?"

Blake turned back towards Doris, "Back to Company. Why?"

"Sit down for a moment; I've been meaning to ask you a question about your missing assistant….wait, my *daughter* sent you over here?" Doris blinked back the realization that her daughter's meddling had already begun. "What did she tell you exactly?"

"To bring you lunch. What do you think she told me?"

Doris was going to respond, but thought better of it, "Never mind. Natalia works for you now right?"

"Yes. Is Olivia coming by?" Blake remembered that Doris had mistaken her for Olivia earlier. The last thing she wanted was to have to throw Olivia in the shower again because she overheard them talking about Natalia…well, maybe not the *last thing*.

"Hmm? She'd have been here by now if she was. I'm a bit worried about her," Doris admitted.

"Me too. She blames herself for..." Blake's voice trailed off. Did Doris know already about Olivia and Natalia's relationship? She had become awfully close to Olivia recently, and Blake couldn't remember the last time Doris had been close to anyone.

Doris finished her sentence for her, "Nat leaving. Honey, you may as well tell me whatever it is; I'll hear about it eventually anyway."

Blake hesitated. She had sworn not to tell Olivia, but Doris…who obviously knew way more than she would have thought…she had to talk to someone; she felt horrible every time Olivia even looked in her direction. "You won't tell anyone? Especially Olivia?"

Doris thought it over, crossing her fingers behind her back, "Not a soul."

"Nat left because she didn't know what she wanted. She wanted to get her head on straight...ok, bad choice of words…but she has some decisions to make and I think she felt like she had let Olivia down and wasn't ready to face her, and I want to help her, and I want to help Olivia, and I feel like I'm not helping anyone," Blake babbled, as she often did when she was nervous.

Doris looked at her coolly, "Do you know where Natalia is?"

Blake closed her eyes and nodded.

"Then grab your purse. We're going on a roadtrip," Doris stated matter-of-factly as Blake looked at her puzzled, "If she can't talk to Olivia, she'll talk to us. Let's just hope she hasn't become a nun by the time we get there."

Blake giggled, "I don't think that will be a problem…but maybe she'll be ready to talk to us. Let's go."

Doris raised her eyebrows. Blake obviously knew something else, but there would be plenty of time to find out while they were driving.


	3. Chapter 3

"Daisy, thank you so much for covering and for watching Clarissa; I'll make it up you, I swear," Blake hung up her cell phone and turned to Doris, "All set. You sure you want to do this?"

"Absolutely," Doris sighed. Life was so much less complicated before she had friends. Now, thanks to those new friends and her daughter's attempt at matchmaking, she would be spending the next bazillion hours on the road with this Marler nitwit, who had somehow befriended her new friend's "whatever this is" girlfriend. Springfield was a decidedly small world and seemed to get smaller by the minute.

"A nun, really?" Blake giggled, the image of Natalia in a nun's habit stuck in her mind.

"You'd be surprised how far religious women will go to deny their feelings," Doris shook her head.

"And you know this from personal experience?" Blake's eyes twinkled. She wasn't really being serious, but hey, stranger things had happened in Springfield.

Doris's face turned red, "Um, this isn't about me. It's about Olivia and Natalia."

"Fortunately for you, I'm not nearly as religious as Natalia," Blake winked. Her mind started making a few connections, but she wasn't completely sure yet. Doris, who was never friendly with anyone, who never seemed to date any of the men in Springfield, suddenly befriends the only lesbians in town? Maybe it was just her overactive imagination.

Doris forced herself to respond, not quite sure how to take Blake's statement, "Well that's at least one thing we can agree on."

"I could never go off on a religious retreat. Just the thought of being away from technology," Blake shuddered. "I seem to recall you being the champion of progress during your mayoral campaign."

"That was a long time ago. I hurt a lot of people when I made that alliance with Alan. If it wasn't for Olivia, I'd still be working with him," Doris confided. Olivia had held such an influence over her life, changing her in many ways for the better. She'd faced her own worst fears in showing her true self to her daughter; she'd found there was more to life than a fancy title and having hoards of money to throw around. The biggest influence of all: she now had people she could call friends.

Blake looked intently at Doris, her eyes thoughtful, "Really? You know, back then, when you won the election, I seriously considered moving to Oakdale."

"Why didn't you?" Doris questioned.

Blake shrugged, "Springfield is my home." She moved in closer to Doris and let her voice drop to a near whisper, "I sort of thought there might be a heart hidden in there somewhere. Was I wrong?"

Doris cursed her hormones. Clearly, it had been too long since she had been with a woman if she was imagining that Blake was flirting with her. Olivia Spencer would have a field day if she knew that Doris was imagining the feel of Blake's lips against her own, the taste of Blake's ample, inviting breasts, and the look on Blake's face as she pushed her over the edge of orgasm. She felt the heat rushing to her cheeks as she realized her eyes had betrayed her thoughts. She had no idea where this was coming from; after all, she and Blake could barely tolerate each other; this would never work even if her daughter was right and Blake wasn't as straight as she appeared to be. "If I say no, can we get going? A long road trip with you isn't exactly my idea of fun no matter what Ashlee seems to think," Doris opened the passenger door for Blake. "This is all for Olivia."

"At least we can agree on that," Blake got in the car and stared out the window while Doris drove to the gas station for fuel and snacks. She remained perfectly silent as Doris got back in the car, put her seatbelt back on, and began to drive. After what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence, she finally spoke, "I keep thinking about what we're going to say to Natalia."

Doris sighed, "We're not going to say anything to her. We're going to arrest her and drag her back to Olivia in handcuffs so that she can talk to her."

"Arrest her for what?"

"I'll come up with something. Trumping up charges is my specialty," Doris smiled.

Blake shook her head, "To think I used to be that cold and calculating."

"It's for her own good," Doris rationalized, "and I have a hard time envisioning you as cold and calculating."

"I think that's the nicest thing you could say to me. For as long as I can remember, people automatically assumed I was evil incarnate because I was Roger Thorpe's daughter. No matter what I did, it didn't change their minds, so I went with it and became just like him. Not exactly my finest moments," Blake admitted.

"Hmm," Doris thought aloud. "You know, I never really thought about it, but when I first met Ross, you'd managed to create quite the stir between him and his brother, Ben."

"Wow, you have a good memory," Blake's tone indicated that she wasn't sure how she felt about this. "Why don't you just bring up how we thought my sons were to two different fathers, or any of the other tabloid fodder over the years?"

"Or how you tried to steal my daughter's boyfriend," Doris stopped, realizing that she had stepped over the line. Funny, before Olivia, she wouldn't have thought twice about how her words sounded. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. You're trying to help my friends out, and I'm…sorry."

Blake softened, "You didn't say anything that wasn't true. You must really hate me."

"I thought I did. I don't know anymore. Honestly, Blake, I'm not really good at this emotional stuff," Doris tried to distract herself by paying closer attention to the road.

Blake smiled a little at that, remembering how she and Ross had constantly been at each other's throats about his lack of ability to show his emotions. Doris was a bit better in that department, but not by much. She said, very seriously, "You're better than some people I know."

Doris sighed, "You hurt my daughter. I've put people in jail for less." This got her thinking. Why had she not gone after Blake for meddling in her daughter's relationship? Sure, she hadn't liked Coop, but it was her job to interfere, not Blake's.

"It wasn't personal. I have this habit of going after people because they want someone else. Not very functional, I know," Blake admitted. "But then, I'm not usually anyone's first choice."

"That's because you've only dated men," Doris heard the words leave her mouth and berated herself as soon as she said them. "Um, I mean…"

"Why, Doris, was that an offer I just heard?" Blake teased.

"Um…"

"A date sounds wonderful. Pick me up tomorrow at 8," Blake smiled. She loved how Doris assumed that she'd never dated a woman before just because she hadn't seen it. If there was one thing she'd learned doing Public Relations for Spaulding, it was that things were rarely what they seemed.

"Did you just…?"

"Oh, and Doris, we're at the retreat. Where Natalia is, remember?"

Doris pulled over and parked on the street, "Oh! Right, um, so, where did I put those handcuffs…"

"Right over here," Blake reached up and pulled Doris into a sensual kiss that left them both giddy, like they could conquer the world. Poor Natalia didn't stand a chance.

-The End-


End file.
